My feeling now.

Lost my feelings, how can i find it? does it come just like that.
does it come in a hot saucy beef meal? beef steak?
drinking? smoking? driving around fast?
when it will come again? where is it?

You know the song heartless? well, i think im being one now.
don't really care about others. just about me and what i want.
well, a little maybe.. been thinking more about my friends happiness..
how to pleased them too much... hiking on their boat instead of mine alone.
the thing is i dont really know how to start.
how to kill the past love hurt before. to not do it again. to not be so traumatized.
to just feel free and be single.

How did people do it. how did people live with it.
just act happy and smile?? what the hell is that.
yeah, ive been doing it. its so fucking annoying.
im sorry for my language,
nobody is so perfect. all they can do is try. right?
so, how i'ma gonna do this. how to kill the feeling..
how to know how i feel..
i cried, oh, yes i did. but not for the hurt. but for the loneliness i felt.
the feeling of not having a feeling. i know this doesn't make sense.
but it is how i feel. its such a confusing feeling.

i need chocolate cookies dip in a hot milk.. need my own holiday..