at last, it ended...

well, so called my birthday yesterday... let me give u a re run... hurm... people keep on wishing me the whole day ( which i really appreciate).. then my mom gave me a card with money in it... f.y.i not mama ( shes an idiot) mummy, okay... well, mama lets just say that she did wish me with a very unpleasant words, which bugs me the whole day... hah! damn it... saying that i should me a very nice daughter to her and all.. in my ass! i wont do that... not until she respect other peoples feelings first... then i had a lunch with my parents ( mummy n baba), kak ina, abg farid, nadiah n hariz ( it is his birthday too, his 5 years old)... then i have to rush out to the ofice by 2 pm... late a bit... huhu... then we had a meeting... until 4... when back home... relax a bit... then went out to the curve... walk around and eat near ikeaS place... bought my bfs gift.. did think about him the whole day... but keep on making myself busy... that night i tried to call him... didnt pick up... msg him, ask him where he is... damn feel like shit... yeah, i cried... the whole day people keep on assuming me going out with my so called bf... i just told them mayb he was busy or something... some people just gave me the surprise look... yeah, he isn't with me the whole day... so what... i still can try and have fun... online a bit, then there he is online... buzzing me.. i just ignored him at first... then he called me... i just cant say anything to him... really make me sick... i just hang up and told him off online... told him that he shouldnt treat me that way on my so called birthday... his the one who ask me to have fun, how can i when he is not around... dumb ass old.... i was so emo that time.. hahahahaha.... then he called me again... saying how sorry he was.... im so dunno what just give him the chance... called it even if he sing to me my present that he had promised me... than he did... then i forgive him... i dont know why i was so forgiving... hahahaha.... damn it i need to be hard as a rock...

so the conclusion on my birthday is... im still getting old... 21?? hurm... better get ready with the anti wrinkle cream... hehehehhe.... and i better start being a mature one ( i promise mummy that)...

CRAP!!

huhu.. like that word now.. okay... lets see... what ive been up to... hurmm. wedding, fight, happy , sad and choked... want me to spill it... well....... ok..

my cousins WEDDING... starting the chritmas day.. weehoo.. real fun and sad.. sad that i wont get to bully him anymore but im happy he got a really nice girl ( see it in her eyes).. and the funny thing is her name aniza is the same name with his own little sister (well, not that little)... hhuhu... me n kak laila (my bro's wife) get real close lately... and i like it.... shes kinda crazy sometimes with insanely loud laughter.. huhu... then last saturday my cousin got himself a wedding dinner near upm, kajang ( i guess).. its really a big hall.. and thats the first time i make up real hard by myself, real proud.. then today they have a chinese ceremony.. the newlyweds have to give chinese tea to the old and middle age people.. and the youngsters like me get to have some kind of ang pau or whatever they call it ( i have to google that)..

FIGHT, hurm... have an agruement with mama... she so out of the fire sometimes.. like to make a ight with people whom actually doesnt really care much.. hahhaha... thk god mummy approved me well..

FIGHT 2, with the 'f*ckers' which they called themselve housemates ( not my room mate)... making me mad... they think they are so perfect they made other people angry... HAH! kiss my f*cking ass you fucking bitch! two sided face, selfish un hearted damn kampung brain damaged ego unclass dirt bags assholes!!

HAPPY coz this month is my bf birthday... 27th... and i get to call him big brother, abg is.. coz his older tan me by two days only... huhu.. he seems okay bout it.. but we do have our own prob... hurm.. tried to cheer him up, felt useless for not making him happy on his day... im like a clown that s not funny... wait wait wait... i hate clowns...hurm... better change that... im like a cartoonist without the cartoon... yeah, thats about it.. but u probably know that...

SAD coz its my birthday 2mrw.. im like so old 21... omg... thats really old... and ive allready made a promise to myself and mummy ( x mama) something something... well, about being mature and something...

and lastly i nearly CHOKED by a chickens bone... damn it... now im a little trauma with that... nearly choke my self to death... but i just laugh just now coz its so funny... i mean who gets choked by a chicken bone like i did...

im broken hearted.

yeah... i am... dont know why... i cant wish like my friend did... cant cry coz its allready dried out.. why cant he understand, why cant he just try to safe our relationship..? be a better man.. i should just give him the "if i were a boy" song sang by beyonce... but boys wont understand... they will,, for a minute then its gone... they will do it back (i guess all men are te same).. hurm.. what should i do... ive allready done what i allready did... now, i dont know what i should do... i m sorry I cant give up... i still love him.. really do... just need to be strong with this relationship that only have the boat without the engine...

IM SICK AND EMO

ok... just want to write whats in my mind... i don't really understand why i think that someone who has a girlfriend( as in a special one) still talks to other girls like they are still single and trying to mingle... and the girl with the bf just respond like she doesnt have any too... the most f*cking annoying is the girl respon the other guys friends like normal... wtf is that.... yeah, i know we are just friends but hey dont go overboard.. saying that why u just offline, is it because you dont want to say hai to me... oh com on... every gf will feel jealous if you treat other peoples bf like that... use your own f*cking mind... like i used mine... you stupid aas bimbo... n hey, u just ask the bf to tell his girl to wish you... hah! no way... im ignoring that... u dumnb ass psyco peoples bf bimbo!!!

note : its been a awile i kept that... i did tell the bf... but still...

enough is enough..

well, im stopping this... not the blog... du-uh... about the twilight... huhu... yes i know, every girl likes the guy in the story but not the story... but what i see now is some guys dont really like it, just because they dont treat girls that way doesnt mean they have to hate the character.. try and be nice and sweet... and be a Better Man ( like the song by Robbie Williams).. try and act nice, lovely, gratefull, understanding and just try, trying wont hurt you... it will make youre spouse happy... when your girl is happy, your relationship will too and mostly you will.. just think about it... hurm...

my fav TWILIGHT words..

-Did she hear how my voice wrapped around her name like caress

-And I'm not pretending you exist

-Oh and Also, i'm wretchedly in love with you

-"and so the lion fel in love with the lamb" edward
"what a stupid lamb" bella
"what a sick, masochistic lion" edward

-"So what youre saying is, im your brand of heroin?" bella
"youre exactly my brand of heroin"edward

-if i could dream at all, It would be about you.. and im not ashamed of it..

-do you really have any idea how important you are to me?
any concept at all of how much I LOVE YOU!

-Bella, you are my life now.

-I feel very protective of you.

-I'm breaking all the rules now since i'm going to hell.

-i'll do what ever it takes to make you safe again.

~from EDWARD CULLEN from book and novel..

i put the new paper spray in your bag - BellaS dad ..

-

Twilight plots

just for fun... i really want to buy the books.. to remind me i just put it in here for awhile.. and can share it with you guys too.. if u guys are too lazy to google it.. huhu

Twilight

Bella Swan moves from Phoenix, Arizona, to Forks, Washington, to allow her mother, Renée, to travel with her new husband, Phil, a minor league baseball player. After moving to Forks, Bella finds herself involuntarily drawn to a mysterious, handsome boy, Edward Cullen, who turns out to be a vampire who drinks animal blood as opposed to human blood. They fall passionately in love, and must fight off a vampire from another coven who is drawn to drink Bella's blood. Bella escapes to Phoenix, Arizona, where she is tricked into confronting James, the sadistic vampire who wishes to kill her. She is mortally wounded, but Edward rescues her, and they return to Forks.

New Moon

Edward and his family leave Forks because of his belief that he is constantly endangering Bella's life. Bella falls into a deep depression, until she develops a strong friendship with werewolf Jacob Black. Jacob and the other wolves in his tribe must protect her from Victoria, an evil vampire who intends to avenge the death of James, her mate, by killing Bella. A misunderstanding occurs, and Edward is led to believe that Bella is dead. Edward decides to commit suicide in Volterra, Italy, but he is stopped by Bella and Alice. They meet with the Volturi and are released on the condition that Bella be turned into a vampire in the near future. Bella and Edward are reunited, and the Cullens return to Forks.

Eclipse

The vampire Victoria, James's mate from Twilight with fiery red hair, has created an army of "newborn" vampires to battle the Cullen family and kill Bella. Meanwhile, Bella is forced to choose between her relationship with Edward and her friendship with Jacob. Edward's family of vampires and Jacob's pack of werewolves join forces to successfully destroy Victoria and her army of vampires. In the end, Bella chooses Edward's love over Jacob's. Jacob is devastated to hear of Bella's choice and of her decision to become a vampire, and runs away in his wolf form.

Breaking Dawn

Bella and Edward get married, but their honeymoon is cut short by Bella's realization that she has become pregnant. Bella's pregnancy progresses extremely quickly and makes her very weak. She nearly dies while giving birth to her and Edward's half-vampire-half-human daughter, Renesmee, but Edward injects Bella with his venom to save her life by turning her into a vampire. A vampire from another coven sees Renesmee and mistakes her for an "immortal child", the existence of which violates vampire rules, and informs the Volturi. The Cullens gather vampire witnesses who can verify that the child is not one of the immortal children. The Cullens and their witnesses convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not a danger to vampires or their secret, and they are left in peace.

for the last 3 years

I've been happy and scared... well, maybe i need to explain why huh? hurm.. after i decided to stop the betting game... (not really) Ive been dating some losers.. n lastly to my current bf.. he was the best and still are... he has a nice laugh, smile, attitude, personality, funny (silly) and evrything that is perfect for me.. yes people, im in love.. so in love that i wanted to be with him everyday and always... thks to my friend peja whom ask me to be in a public speaking with him
( i suckd in that public speaking thing) but im glad.. without the competition i wouldnt have met him, a great guy.. evendough we have just met but i feel like ive known him for so long... after that , one night i told him my feelings.. (i know its weird a girl do the 1st move) but i did it... we shared a computer and chat in the google search box... huhu... i told him the 4 words 'i.k.l.u'.. he doesnt know it at 1st just told him that 'i kinda loaf you' ( if u dont understand than i dont know what to say).. then he replied me too... ask me a question that makes us both blank.. 'what should we do next' .. for now i think its funny how we both re act in that situation... but he did ask me a very sweet question after then.. " will you be my gf".. without even thinking i just said yes..

so now, we are still togather even after 3 years more... and im really HAPPY and glad... so glad that i cant really discribe how i feel... we do have our own ups and down... but we still can manage our relationship.. huhu... evendough im not in the same college with him but weirdly i am with him, and didnt go with other guys... like before...

the thing about the scared is. im really scared to loose him... psst! dont tell him...

the really short intro.

life as u all know it, its a game that we play by our own risk. you can never forget whatever you USED to do. it will keep on playing in your own mind. yes, if its bad you dont want to remember it but actually it will chase you till the end. i have a past that i seriously dont really want to make it stay in my mind, make it gone and make the scars to go away.. i used to have a hatred feelings towards MEN. in my mind they are all the same. it was my mum whom make me hate them so much.. my mother was married to 3 men and she told me that all those men are still married to their wife. i presume that they are so stuck up because after marrying with my mother for awhile they divorced my mother and they get back to their first wife. i for all i know is my mother is a flirt, i dont mean to be rude but HELLO there are so many single man in the whole world, still, she wants to get hitched with some other womens husband. and i dont blame her herself, the men that she gets married to are also a d*mb. you have a great wife, your own kids whom adore you and a very great living but still, you want to get married with the other women.

so my moral of the story about my family history is men are untrusted human being that is so stupid. they cant even stand in a crowd for only ONE women, if can 56% of that crowd is most likely their own women. just like a rich kid whom already have everything in this world but still wants more.

and for this is my expose off my deep dark secret. it was when i was in form 3, the year that i really don't want to think about. my friends from other school made a bet for me, they told me to couple up with any of my senior in school and dumped him after he loved me. and i did after 2 months, after that i dumped him. one month after that he wants me back, well, im beginning to like the game that time so, i coupled with him back. he really took care of me and i was in the game too. after a month i broke up with him. some harsh words and blame him for having another girl. oh yes, i made him cry, the satisfaction is really making my day a brighter one. told my friends and the winning money is mine off course. from that day i made the game more successfully in line.. the next year i hooked up with 3 guys at once, some guy from 'sekolah sukan bukit jalil' a biker, some guy from sungai besi and a anak datuk(this guy is a player too). this game goes on till 2 1/2 months. and i let them all go for just a day. just told them that they made me bored. yeah, they did give me some harsh words but i was not really bothered. for that game i got RM350. life was good that time.

with all of the entertainment early of the 2004 i have stopped the game. because of the 2 incident that struck towards my family. in life if we did something wrong and if we didn't noticed it, it will come back to us in a different and really unpleasant way.